Tragedy struck my household Wednesday when my retarded cat, Snowball, decided it would be a great idea to eat a piece of the couch, the neighbors Hummel collection and some straw. I came home to the lovely sight of vomit sprayed in little spots on the carpet, and after an awesome projectile vomit exhibition, I decided to take her to the vet. The X-rays showed without a doubt that there was inedible material such as plastic and fabric in her GI tract, and there was no choice but to do exploratory surgery on her. I imagine it was like the scene in Jaws where they cut the shark’s stomach open and pull out bunch of crap, tossing it on the ground behind them. I wouldn’t be surprised if they found a Rhode Island license plate or a child’s leg in there.
So I guess this is just an elaborate way of saying there is no real update this week because I’m busy taking care of my goofball cat & watching football. But I’ll tell you what, just so it sort of looks like a real update to the people that just skim the words I’ll create a list of things they found in my cat’s stomach. 
- Twine
- Ribbon
- 4 dimes
- Milkduds
- The Entire DVD set of The Sopranos, Season 3
- “A Boy and His Blob” for NES
- The Colonel’s secret recipe
- 50 pack of Magnum X-Large condoms
- Donald Duck Pez dispenser
- Box of nails
- Alan wrench
- Hammer
- Toolbox
- The original draft of the Declaration of Independence (As seen in the movie “National Treasure”)
- Entire collection of the “Left Behind” series hardback edition.
- Jimmy Hoffa’s femur
- Amelia Earhart’s plane
- Steven Segal’s career
- The University of California at Berkley hopes and dreams of a national title.
Until later sometime this week…
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