When I look inside, I see nothing. I feel nothing but this empty void that is consuming me… Controlling me… Tearing me apart. When I try to feel something, there’s nothing to be felt. I try to know myself, but I can’t. My own existence is nothing but a shadow that runs away from me each time I try to pursue it. It slips from my hands each time I seize it, like a scared child that fights to be freed from the monsters of her nightmare.
And then, they come and try to steal these thoughts from me. My thoughts.
They try to make these thoughts vanish by saying our existence isn’t supposed to be discovered. We cannot think such things for they’re too dangerous for us. By saying they can lead us to folly. By saying they can lead us to death. And even though it scares me, I don’t care. I know they’re lying. I know they are scared that I might fly away from them and find my true essence. To be free from their mind-controlling grasp.
All I want is to find myself… Know myself… Love myself. To stop feeling this emptiness inside. For being empty is the worst thing one can be.
And I wonder if that will ever happen…
I don’t know… But I wanted it to… I wanted it so much… But I can’t do it alone. I need someone to help me to feel… The good and the bad. Love and hatred. Death and Life. Loyalty and betrayal. Salvation and damnation. I’ll discover who I am then…
Someone, please… Find me.
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